I have a friend who likes to entertain. He does not cook, so his dinner parties are at nice restaurants. Some are small gatherings, but most are usually large groups. He always arrives early to talk with the staff and ensure that all of the details are perfect. Then he inspects the table and sets out the place cards. Each guest has an assigned seat at his parties. This is not done to establish a pecking order, but rather out of kindness to the guests.
He puts a lot of thought into the seating arrangement to ensure that each person is comfortable, will be near people who are compatible, so that all will enjoy the evening. This is an act of gentility and is done as a kindness to each guest.
But the seating arrangements at the pharisees’ house were not like those of my friend. There was a clear pecking order in the seating there, and it was visible to all. Let’s begin by acknowledging that Jesus was invited to dine with the leader of the Pharisees. That by itself is startling, given the loathing they had for him by this point. But we get the answer when it says, “they were watching him closely”. They invited him in an attempt to get him to do or say something that they could use against him. Jesus knew this of course, but he went anyway. That too is startling. Jesus knew what he was in for and could have avoided the experience, but he chose instead to go and to share the meal with them. Imagine someone who will accept an invitation knowing full well that it is a clear attempt to trap him. But Jesus is willing
to meet with anyone, even those who hate him. We can learn something from this. Many a disagreement has been ironed out over a meal, and Jesus also knew he would have the opportunity to teach them something.
Jesus tells them “When you are invited by someone, do not sit down at the place of honor, in case someone more distinguished than you has been invited by your host; and the host who invited both of you may come and say to you, give this person your place and then in disgrace you would start to take the lowest place. But when you are invited, go and sit down at the lowest place, so that when your host comes, he may say to you, Friend, move up higher’;
then you will be honored in the presence of all who sit at the table with you. For all who exalt themselves will be humbled, and those who humble themselves will be exalted.”
Those who exalt themselves will be humbled, and those who humble themselves will be exalted. That is the challenge isn’t it? For we all want to be exalted. We all want to be the guest of honor. We are all egocentric enough to want it to be about US. Does that ring true to anyone else here, or is it just me?
Now before you beat yourself up too badly about this, take some solace in the fact that you are not alone. It is hard wired in us to want to be praised. Even the disciples were not immune. Luke tells us that right after the Transfiguration, where Peter and James and John witnessed the glory of the Lord and realized beyond any doubt that Jesus was in fact the Messiah, they began to argue among themselves about which of them was the greatest. They now know that they are in the presence of God himself, and still they think first about their own position in the world. When Jesus asks what they were talking about, they don’t respond because they are ashamed. But he already knows and tells them “whoever wants to be first must be last of all and servant of all.” Or put another way, all who exalt themselves will be
humbled, and those who humble themselves will be exalted.” Jesus was nothing if not consistent.
But he is consistent because this message needs to be repeated. We have a hard time grasping it. Intellectually we can understand what Jesus is telling us, but practicing it is another matter entirely. For we all want to be the star of the show. We want it to be about
us. But that is not what God wants. In the old testament, the prophet Micah tells us “what does the LORD require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God.” The short reading from Proverbs echoes precisely the same theme. Humility is key, and yet for most of us it is extremely hard to do.
When asked about the greatest commandment, Jesus tells us to Love God with all your heart and soul and love your neighbor as yourself. I assure you, he knew exactly what he was saying when he chose those words. For loving your neighbor is not the hard part. But loving them as much as you love yourself; that is MUCH harder to do. We find it very hard to love others as much as we do ourselves because in our entrenched narcissism, we want it all to be about us.
But that is not God’s way. God became one of us, lived and loved and cried as one of us; was arrested, tortured and killed as one of us. In His time as one of us, Jesus showed us what it meant to love our neighbor as ourselves. Jesus washed the feet of the disciples, healed the lepers, and ate with the prostitutes and tax collectors. He cared for the poor, the sick, the
prisoners, and served them before himself.
St. Teresa of Avila said, “Christ has no body on earth but yours, no hands, no feet on earth but yours. Yours are the eyes with which he looks Compassion on the world.” For compassion is the opposite of narcissism. And by humbling himself to take the lowest place, Jesus taught us
that compassion is the ultimate expression of love. That is how we love our neighbor as ourselves.
Jesus did NOT assume the place of honor at table, even though he alone had the right to it. If Jesus could humble himself and love others as much as himself, who are we to do less?